Over at Terribleminds Chuck Wendig laid down a flash fiction challenge inspired by Occupy Writers: a 1000 word story on corporate abuse – any genre. Here’s mine.
ACTION REQUIRED
Subject: Action required. Refocusing opportunity in your area!
Congratulations! You have been selected to take part in Zanutabor’s customer refocusing program.
We know are a busy person. In fact that’s why we chose you! Our consumer profile department works tirelessly to identify prestige customers who we feel could benefit from a lifestyle boost. It’s time to enjoy your status. You’ve earned it!
As you may know Zanutabor has teamed up with a range of dynamic partners to offer great products and exciting services for people exactly like you. You are a Gold Status consumer, and you occupy a number of confirmed Most Valued Customer demographic categories. However, we notice you have not yet taken up any of the offers we designed especially for you.
So we’re inviting you now to help answer the only question that matters. How can we do better? We’d love to find out. Join us at a premium refocusing event. We will provide a gourmet lunch, as well a consumer packet worth 350 Zanubucks redeemable at thousands of stores worldwide.
**Subject: Action required. Don’t forget to attend our refocusing event!
**
Congratulations! We have extended your opportunity to take part in our groundbreaking customer research program. We are sorry you were unable to make our previous refocusing sessions.
Please make yourself available for refocusing at your earliest possible convenience. Click here for open appointments.
Refocusing can give you an entirely new perspective on your lifestyle and your consumer opportunities. We feel sure you’ll want to try some of Zanutabor’s sponsored goods and services. Don’t forget to claim your 350 Zanubucks when you register.
Subject: Compulsory Action Notification: Refocusing. Final warning.
Dear Mr Skapton.
Despite two previous notifications you have failed to attend one of our popular customer refocusing programs.
As you know, customers like you are what Zanutabor is all about. Our partners include many of the world’s top brands and as a Gold Status customer you benefit from fantastic discounts on great goods and services.
But it’s not all one way traffic! Customer participation in occasional refocusing events is compulsory.
Please present yourself IMMEDIATELY at any Zanutabor customer service center for priority processing. Upon registration your Gold Status guarantees you expedited access to refocusing within four hours, or you can claim an immediate Zanubucks reward.
You can’t lose!
Subject: Zanutabor customer services ticket #3982228 Skapton/refocussing non-compliance
Dear Mr Skapton
Thank you for your comments regarding your upcoming Zanutabor refocusing.
I understand your concerns about this program. I hope this explanation will set your mind at rest.
As you know ours is a consumer democracy and effective consumption is the responsibility of all citizens. Through refocusing you will affirm your participation in our country’s future. You will also provide us with valuable information so that we may continue to improve our services.
Please note that your credit record and customer loyalty status will be at risk if you do not comply within the time period below.
We look forward to welcoming you to your nearest refocusing center within THREE working days.
If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to contact me.
Yours
Jack Parks, Customer Service Assistant.
**Subject: Notice of Credit / Loyalty Status Downgrade
**
Dear Mr Skapton
As a result of REPORTED CONSUMER VIOLATIONS it is my duty to inform you that this office has issued a Probationary Withdrawal of Status Notice pending court decree. You will receive full information in the WELCOME TO BRONZE! brochure which we have dispatched to your current address.
We know that address details often change abruptly when consumer status is altered, so you may also access the package online here. Please remember to keep us informed of your address at all times. This is a legal requirement.
You may wish to seek legal advice to clarify your new consumer rights and responsibilities. In summary, however, we are obliged to inform you that if you are threatened with homelessness or hunger (defined by the Means of Sustenance Act) as a result of this order, you may apply for short term government aid on a loan basis. Please click here for further information.
Yours sincerely
William Suthe Jr (Legal Officer)
Subject: Action required. Refocusing opportunity in your area!
Congratulations! You have been selected to take part in Zanutabor’s customer research program.
Did you know that Bronze customers qualify for special rates on a wide range of great products including Meal Deals, Top Brand Soda Ranges, Movie Tickets and much, much more?
Perhaps you haven’t seen our Bronze For You! Web and TV channels? Come along to our refocusing event in your area and find out more! Lunch, and a ‘goody bag’ of mystery products is provided, and you’ll be entered in a prize draw to win a Luxury Webbertainment System!
What are you waiting for!
Subject: Thanks for coming!
It was great to see you at our Bronze Bonanza refocusing event.
Our dedicated medical practitioners have confirmed your refocusing procedure was 100% successful. We’re delighted, and you should be too! Well done!
We regret this treatment was not covered by your current insurance plan. But never fear! We offer a range of great repayment products. Click for full details.
And now that your consumption is on track, you’re well on your way to earning that all important Silver status! Keep piling on the points!
Unfortunately you were not a winner in our prize draw, but with our current seasonal offers everyone’s a winner! Check your smart card for a crop of winter bargains.
Your friends at Zanutabor.
